Insecure men are frequently non-committal.

Rejection is a big thing for most human beings. It’s a huge deal for the commitment-phobe.

Insecure men will never put themselves into any situation where they could appear vulnerable.

Normal guys get affected by dating rejection or the fear of dating rejection but are not afraid to talk about it or share their feelings without the fear of being judged.

A few hallmarks of the insecure game player. (These are common scenarios from the dating sites.)

He can only chat during the day.

Unless he’s retired, if he’s only ever online during the day, he’ll probably be at work.

You really don’t want to be chatting to guys at work.

It’s very common for players to be boasting to their work colleagues and showing them your messages.

They just want to impress their mates and be Jack the lad.

These are also the guys that don’t turn up for the date because they’re otherwise taken, or too insecure to meet you face to face, and have no intention of showing.

They’re also unlikely to let you know – it’s all about them, remember.

I’m sure you’ve much better things to do with your time than interact with someone like that!

Another possibility with the daytime caller is that he’s already married or with a girlfriend and it’s not safe for him to be chatting online at home.

He suddenly disappears while chatting at night.

You’ve trusted him enough to connect with him on messenger or in a chat room and suddenly he clicks off, just disappears and doesn’t re-appear until the next day with a story that he lost his internet connection or whatever.

Maybe he heard his wife or girlfriend coming up the stairs (or his mum lol) when he’d told her he had work to do online.

You’ve got to ask yourself the question, “Who walked into the room he was in?

What’s he not meant to be doing?”.

Sudden silence.

Maybe you’ve been communicating with a guy and all of a sudden he drops off the radar only to reappear days or weeks later with some feeble excuse. Let him go.

He won’t tell you he’s been playing the field and thought the grass was greener on the other side with that girl over there.

Or maybe his ex was in town, and they were doing some intimate reminiscing.

You’re worth more than that, much more.

Here’s a true story one of my clients told me many years ago.

A guy who had some of the hallmarks mentioned above kept drifting in and out of communication.

This should have been a red flag already, but the lady carried on as she always gave people benefit of the doubt.

He had already not turned up on an arranged date with this lady (benefit of the doubt remember)

He arranged to meet her, they arranged to go to the beach. So far so good!

On the way from picking her up to the beach he said that he had to pop in to his house to put his answerphone on as he was expecting a business client to call him hic!

He asked her if she wanted to come in for a second rather than wait in the car (obviously wanting to impress her with his nice house to massage his status)

She thought that it would be a good idea to see how he lived.

He showed her into the front room while he went upstairs to the office supposedly putting the answerphone on.

She was looking around and saw some photographs on the floor in the corner of the room then noticed that there was some slight patches on the walls in the front room where the pictures may have been.

Intrigued, she took a quick look at the photographs and saw a picture of a couple in the same room as she was standing about the same age as the guy.

It really looked like they lived there.

She heard him coming down the stairs and quickly turned the pictures back round.

Even though her head was racing she said nothing.

They went to the beach and of course he just had to come past his house again on the way back and obviously invited her in for a coffee.

She made her excuses not to which started him sulking but she made him take her back to her car.

A few days later she thought she would take a drive past this house again and lo and behold there was this couple coming out of the house into their car.

She was fuming!

She went up to the couple and asked them if they lived there and of course they said yes, and asked her why she wanted to know.

She told them the story.

Now there were 3 people fuming.

They had asked him to look after their house while they were on holiday because the guy worked with the chap and seemed trustworthy they gave him the key and asked him to keep an eye on it when passing on his way to work.

This date actually lived with his mother elsewhere.

She got in touch and told him that she had met a couple of his friends who had said that it was a shame that they weren’t in when the “dating couple” popped in on the way to the beach.

Phone went silent!

The guy who actually lived in the house spread the story all around work, the “date” was the butt of ridicule and eventually left.

Seems the girl had a close shave and also got her own back 🙂

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